How to Be Busy: A Writer's Guide
A lot of people complain about how they're never too busy. They say, "I have all this time for leisure and personal enjoyment; how can I change that?" These poor souls do things like "sit down" and "take naps," and it's a horrible way to go through life. Which is why I've developed a new four-step guide to staying busy.
Step 1: Write a whole series!
When I was too busy not being busy, my first inclination was to write a new book. But then I thought, Wait...that'll only keep me busy for a few months. That's when I decided to write a whole series of novels! The first book in the series, Mabel Gray and the Wizard Who Swallowed the Sun, is out now, and I can confirm with 100% certainty that the next six books in the series will keep me from napping for at least half a dozen years now. Self-five!
Step 2: Start writing a brand new serialized fairy tale!
Sure, the seven-novel series will keep me hopping, but what's going to keep me from taking naps in the downtime between the moment I publish one book and plot out the next? Simple! I'll write a serial novel! It's called The Strange and Marvelous Adventures of Puddle, it's a weird, magic- and exploding invention- and crushing insanity-filled adventure story, and the first episode just went live today. Which means I have less than four weeks to write and edit and publish the next! TAKE THAT, NAP!
Step 3: Plot the true follow-up to your first hit novel!
All this is keeping me busy, sure...but what's going to happen in the summer when my teaching job slows down for summer break and I find myself with extended minutes with nothing to do? I'll have to write another book, of course! Apocalypticon has been going like gangbusters, and I've written nought but weird-ass fairy tales since then, so I think I owe those post-apocalyptic fans a new book. How about an Old West dark adventure comedy called Cannibal Mountain? It'll involve airships and gunfights and hermits and killer goats and dangerous mines and, obviously, hordes of cannibals, and whiskey, and poison, and treasure hunts for buried riches, and maybe, just maybe, mountain gators, though those are just rumor at this point.
Step 4: Blog about all this stuff instead of actually working on it!
Whoops...you're right, me. Good point. Gotta go.
What are you working on that's keeping you busy these days? Let me know in the comments!