The Bright Side of the Apocalypse
Okay, yes. The apocalypse is a horrible thing. Cities will crumble, the seas will boil, and pretty much everyone you love will die. But hey, it doesn't all have to be doom and gloom! There are a few upsides to the end of the world.
Parking - When 95% of the population gets wiped out, guess what. 95% of the parking lot opens up! (Assuming, of course, the apocalypse happens at night. If all hell breaks loose at prime shopping hours, well, that's another story. Those cars ain't leavin'.) Of course, in order to hoard enough gas to make a car viable, you'll need to really commit to braining other survivors with a log at the gas pump, but it's a small price to pay for convenience.
A Little "Me" Time - Tired of running the rat race? Problem solved! Money is worthless, so forget about clocking in to that 9-to-5. (Your manager's likely dead anyway.) The only race you'll have to run now is the one to food. And to shelter. And away from roving bands of maniacs.
Vegetables - You don't have to eat them anymore! In fact, it's probably best you don't eat them anymore. They're almost certainly radioactive now.
Jehovah's Witnesses - Gone! No more awkward front door encounters!
What are some other benefits of facing Armageddon? Share them with me on Twitter by tweeting them to @Claytonsaurus! (And hey, give me a follow while you're at it...I dare you!)