The Top 10 List of Top 10 Lists of 2014

We're nearing the end of the year, which means Top 10 lists are once again all the rage. But there are so many Top 10s out there...how do you know which ones are really worth your time?

With the State of Clayton Top 10 List of Top 10 Lists of 2014, that's how.

Here, in a very specific order that I will not discuss, are the 10 best Top 10 lists from 2014:

 

1. Top 10 Blog Posts of 2014, by Jennifer L. Hotes

Ms. Hotes was kind (and deranged) enough to include a post that I wrote for Dumb White Husband as one of her 10 favorite blog posts of the year, and I couldn't be more flattered! Pay special attention to the point where you realize that I somehow made a list that includes Benedict Cumberbatch. That's my favorite part.

 

2. Top 10 Sci-Fi Planet Destroying Starships

WARNING: Do not read if you can't handle when shit gets too real. This list goes beyond entertainment and gives us a glimpse into a horrific potential future where we let starships destroy the hell out of planets for not very good reasons. The list is pretty intense; when Unicron* is way down at #9, you know there's planet-demolishing goodness ahead.

*Though I do have reservations about classifying Unicron as a starship. But that's for another blog post entirely.

 

3. Top 10 Bible Reviews on Amazon

"One of the most disjointed novels I've read in a long while."

 

4. NPR's Guide to 2014's Greatest Reads

Okay, no, this isn't a Top 10. It's a Top Lot. So sue me. There are a lot of "best book" lists floating around out there, but none of them have NPR's fluid grid design. It's just loverly. (Also, for the record, the spell check in this blog did not flag "loverly," which is concerning.)

 

5. Prince Philip's Top 10 Gaffes

Did you know Britain had its own Joe Biden? Any man who tells a bunch of British students studying in China that if they stay there much longer, they'll all be slitty-eyed definitely deserves to be in the Top 10. Or an asylum. One of the two, for sure.

 

6. 10 Mysterious Trips Into the Wilderness That Went Horribly Wrong

This is terrifying and amazing and extremely good writer fuel. Don't read if you don't like true stories about people being attacked with axes while camping or about children vanishing in the woods.

 

7. The Top 10 YouTube Videos of 2014

Sort of a disappointing list, but an important one, I think. It shows us what we truly value as a society. Like other countries' talent shows. I'M JUST HOLDING UP A MIRROR, YOU GUYS.

 

8. 10 Bizarre Situations There's Actually a Word For

A great, but not terribly useful, list. Unfortunately, none of the words are in English. Why? Because we don't need them. In America, we have a catch-all word for bizarre situations. It's called "WTF."

 

9. Top 10 Gifts for Dogs

It's shocking how many Top 10 Gifts for Dogs lists there are out there. Shocking, and depressing. This is just one of many. Listen, you guys. If you need a top ten list to tell you what to buy a dog for Christmas, you may want to take a long, hard look at yourself in the mirror. See those wet things on your cheeks? Those are tears. You're crying them because this is what your life has become.

 

10. Top 10 Countries That Offer Mail-Order Brides

The Beatles were wrong; you can buy me love! To be totally honest here, I was surprised by this list. Ukrane, at only number five? Absurd. And hey, enjoy that top spot while you've got it, Russia. The 2014 trade embargoes almost certainly mean the Philippines will be tops in 2015.

 

What was your favorite Top 10 List of 2014?